Its weird how when I’m sad, there’s just no cheering up for a couple days. It’s like it takes my heart forever to pick itself back up. Blegh.
I remember when I was in high school I got up to some pretty questionable things. Skipping, going out to smoke weed at lunch, getting drunk on school nights, I guess that’s pretty tame now. Looking back now, I regret my decisions but accept them as rebellious teen behaviour.
Suddenly, the younger girls in the scene today are completely off the wire. Not stereotyping because I completely understand that there are some girls who are on the right path. But the stories I hear sicken me. 15 year olds snorting pills in the bathroom at school? How is that okay. How do these girls get so off track that they get eating disorders and go on pill diets. Were they made to feel like they’re not good enough otherwise? I hope they’re not doing it to fit in with the older people, because if they were they would be completely misinformed. I don’t really know anyone who is that extreme with their drug use, or so frequent. I’m so worried about all these girls because I know a lot of them, and they are intelligent, kind and worth a thousand times more then what they have given themselves. I want to put blame somewhere, but surely it’d fall back on to people like me, we see them and still do nothing.
I just wish I could help.
Its a saturday fucking night, you told me I’d get to hang out with you all night last night.. I never see you. Ever. You were supposed to be here at 7:30, its 10pm. I dunno if I’d rather you not show up, or deal with you showing up and me feeling like a late night booty call. I am your girlfriend, I would like to feel that way. I should not be dealing with this, I am way too fucking good to be dealing with this. Sometimes you just have to make the call and say enough is enough………… but its really hard when you do show up and act so charming :(
What is wrong with me! I guess its easy to hold your head up high and announce to the world that you are a “strong, confident, sexy, etc.” kind of woman until you actually find a boy that makes you act like an idiot! Thank god Nick and Vanessa’s wedding is on tonight so I can just watch it and cry and imagine.